Saturday, March 7, 2009

March 7 - If Projectile Pooping Was An Olympic Sport...

Preparing for the world record
Colton would win a gold medal! Let's start off on a light note about Colton today.

With the amount of food Colton's getting, let's just say "production" is up. "Production" is to be expected in these types of situations. However, little kids don't come with pressure valves indicating pressure build up is high and release is imminent. This ain't our first rodeo so we know little kids can be weapons of mass production. We are also aware that little boys sometimes find it funny to have target practice when their diaper is off. What Wendy and I weren't prepared for was a world record being set in projectile poop at the Level II NICU today.

So as we are changing his diaper and tidying up his baby condo (a.k.a. isolette), Colton gives an indication that he's not quite finished with his business. No big deal, he's actually done this a couple of times. Just hold the diaper in place and let him finish his business. They weigh the diapers to track output of production so it's good if you can get everything in one diaper. Well, as Wendy is preparing for the eventual output, I'm standing behind and to the side of her with wipes in hand. It's kinda like a pit crew except instead of changing tires and filling up gas, we are cleaning and diapering. Funny thing is there was something full of gas today but it wasn't our car.

The next thing I remember, I'm looking down at my gown filled with a substance that was not there 2 seconds prior. Wendy's hand color changed and the isolette looked like a modern artist had gone wild with the paint. The "artist" also forgot the drop cloth because paint was on the carpet as well. We sat there for a couple of seconds in total disbelief at what just happened. You guessed it. Colton officially earned his man card today by building up enough gas to set the new world record in projectile poop.

I tend to exaggerate on some stories but let me tell you, I am not exaggerating on this. I would be lying to you if I told you I had seen anything close to this before. I could eat beans and jalapenos for a week and pump my colon full of propane and I don't think I could come close to replicating what my son did today!

Folks, I'm not kidding when I said I was 2.5-3 ft. away from his isolette. If there was a bullseye dead center on my gown, he would have nailed it perfectly. How Colton managed to reach the top of the isolette is something that will baffle us for years to come. Newton would be scratching his head because the laws of gravity were completely disproven today.

Well if this had been at home, we might not have found it as funny. The nurses in the NICU got a good laugh and Wendy I couldn't control our laughter after we got over the initial shock. Sydney probably got the biggest laugh today because she nearly passed out with laughter when we told her about it when we got home. Colton is already scoring points with his big sister for literally telling their parents they are full of crap.

I was tempted to get a pic of Wendy and myself but I thought that wouldn't be the best picture for the internet. I did take a picture of the redecorating that Colton did to his baby condo but thought I would spare you the visual image. Colton was oblivious to the whole thing because he fell fast asleep after all that hard work. Needless to say, we will be a bit more prepared in case Colton wants to try a little more target practice in the future!
OK, now that we got past that story, let's move on to an update on Colton. He is 35 weeks gestational age today and weighs 6lbs. 5oz. today. We believe some of that weight is residual fluid leftover from when he had his PDA closed. As a result, his neonatologist is giving him a couple of doses of lasix to rid him of any remaining excess fluid. This will likely result in a few ounces weight loss so don't be suprised if you see his weight down in the next couple of days. He is up to 4 bottles now and is basically on room air when he's not feeding. During feeds, he is on oxygen (nasal cannula) to help him maintain his blood oxygen saturation.

Next big step is to move to 5 bottles in one day. This will be the first time that he has "back-to-back" bottles in a 3 hour period. He is fed every 3 hours around the clock. Typically, things slow down at bottle number 5 due to the stress of those two bottle feeds in a row. His isolette temperature is at the lowest setting now. Next step is to move to an open crib. 8 bottles in one day and being in an open crib are 2 of the last remaining major requirements before getting discharged. Again, hard to predict these things but we are hopeful that Colton won't see the new Level II NICU in the new building come April.

Wendy should get to try some "non-nutrative feedings" (breastfeeding just after pumping milk) with Colton this week. This gets him used to latching on in hopes that he will breastfeed instead of Wendy having to use the breast pump exclusively. Speaking of Wendy, she is feeling better now that she has completed her last course of antibiotics.

Well, that's enough excitement for one day. Thanks again for everyone's prayers and support over these last 5 weeks. Our family has persevered thanks to our strength, Faith and the support of our family and friends. Colton has a few more hurdles to go but we are starting to see light at the end of this long and dark tunnel. Here's looking to brighter days....All the best...Bret, Wendy, Sydney and Colton.


Kelly said...

That was certainly entertaining, LOL! I've heard of projective vomiting, but poop?? So much for weighing that diaper...

Lora said...

Omg. I heard this story first hand from mommy last night. Crazy!! Welcome to boyhood! You are in for a wild ride, let me tell you. :-P

Pam said...

Boys just come into the world full of gross stuff. It's in the male DNA. :)

Speaking from experience: 1 son, 3grandsons.